So "they" say....2024 version.

 Okay, let us discuss "they" for a moment because this group of decision-making people just seem to have our lives perfectly mapped out for us; so "they" think. Everyone has an email address, a cell phone number, or some means of contact these days, as the technical world has streamed us into having to stay connected, and yet this group called "they" stays behind the scenes and behind closed doors and work up new things that affect us. Now that alone concerns me. I have some things I would love to discuss with "them" about some of the ideas "they" have, some of which are smack ridiculous, and whether or not "they" are in a position of knowing if those choices are what is right for me. Every individual's thought will vary, and no square box can contain us all for the same decision, across the board, may not be what is right for everyone. "They" have set the ground rules for so many things in our lives when you really think about. Actually "they" stifle many of our rights. Don't stop reading here...please continue this one. 

    "They" say don't do this or don't eat that or listening to too much music can cause...; "they" have a lot of opinions out there concerning us and even I fail to realize it sometimes but "they" sure seem to have a whole lot to say and yet most times "they" say it while, basically, saying nothing at all. "They" just slap something down on paper that has now changed the way we utilize many things in our PERSONAL lives! As for me, I interpret the word PERSONAL as being MY business which shouldn't be any of anyone else's business. But that's me. I mean let's just use a few examples of what "they" decide for us and then we can leave "them" alone.

    "They" say, yes you may build a home of your own that makes you happy... but, then "they" kindly and expensively, let you in on the catch 22 of just how many permits you will need in order to build that happy home and that without them you cannot build it! Yes, you have the right to bear arms and the right to protect yourself but, here again, "they" say you will need a permit to carry that right "they" gave you to start with! I have a side note thought on this one for it eludes me how "they" figure that giving one the reign to legally purchase a gun before one can legally purchase a beer is a decision that is okay...got to shake my head on that one. But I digress. "They" say that you have freedom of speech, and that is true, but "they" also sensor that particular freedom...hmmm. 

    See, "they" say so much about so many things we probably don't even realize that are part of each of our everyday lives. You know what folks, it's tough out here as it is and most of us are just trying to get by and hold onto to a slice of happiness without our every move being under scrutiny. If y'all in the group of "they" have some good news you would like to share, then we would love to hear what "they" have to say. I believe in law and order, don't go misinterpreting me, but I also believe in living and doing what makes you happy and fulfills your time while here without bending the trees of your life because of everything "they" say. 

This is my 2024 version of what "they" say...

Written by Pam Scholes 4/11/2024. 

When it's my time...

Now don’t stop reading right at the title figuring some morbid subject matter is about to be laid forth as food for thought. You would be partially correct, right after you remove the word “morbid” from that initial thought equation. But my aim, indeed, is to plant some good food for thought to have when it is our time…and we do all have one lingering out there somewhere. We come into this world with a birthdate and with an expiration date…and in the big scheme of things we are here but for a flash of time but it’s what we do with that flash of time that matters most to us when it’s our time. Some will ask themselves, "did I play my dealt hand of cards well?" And then there are those who will worry over, “wonder how she and/or he will remember me?" And even more will question, "did I leave my family enough?” The odd list can just go on; but it should not. So…I’m just gonna share forth my take on this and maybe it will seem like a more appealing approach…let’s just find out!

When it’s my time I would like to think that I always remained well prepared inside, with my soul anchored to the grip of my higher power, to meet that time. I would like to think that I had tied together as many worthy loose ends as I possibly could and that I had left most partings on amicable terms. I would like to think that, along my way, I had made some folks laugh more, smile more, ponder more, embrace more, converse deeply, and just plain touched as many people as was possible for me to touch in whatever way they needed at the time. I would like to think that each flower I planted would return again each year and blossom full and lovely. I would like to think that the words I have written will continue to be read. I would like to think I had been that needed shoulder and that I had had the comfort of having that shoulder when I needed it. I would like to think I would be remembered fondly by those who knew me well and at least respected by those who did not know me well. I would like to think that I had won fairly enough at life's game of pitch and toss and that I had planted some good karma to yield me kindly as I moved on to the next phase. I would like to think that I stopped more than often enough to admire and smell the roses and feel my soul become inebriated by a breathtaking sunrise or sunset. I would like to think I had accomplished many of my goals with notches of wonderful memories in my belt of journey. I would like to think that I had had the pleasure of learning as much from folks as I did when sharing of my knowledge with them. I would like to think, in most cases, that I had equally weighed the scales before making important life changing decisions. I would like to think that the ocean would always be as I had always seen it and that I would always feel it as I did when standing in the warm sand as its tide rolled over the shore. I would like to think that I had given fair thought to every detail of my being while here and that I left many with a solid reason to celebrate my life. I want folks to recall me as a helping hand and a relentless fighter in many corners. I would like to think it common knowledge that the expectation of nothing was what led any act of help or kindness I ever offered for I know full well that I had done it all because I cared and was in a position to help and that for me…that was enough. I would like to think I had built and spent a life of good quality surrounded by good quality people. I would like to think that I had spent my quarter wisely and rewardingly when I dropped it into the coin slot to the merry go round ride of my life. I would like to think that life and I were almost always on good terms and that I was a fine student to its many teachings. 

You see…this is how I feel we should all think, to some fulfilled degree. I wish to be missed not mourned…I wish to have left enough happiness scattered to and fro that a celebration was in order and that all felt my contentment inside their own hearts. I wish to be what I had always set out to be when I reach the finish line. I wish to coast across the next shoreline as I had those of my life. I hope, at that time, I served others well in return for anything that was paid forward for me. I hope even one life took a deeper, better breath because of me in some way. I hope I am sent forth with Godspeed, I hope I am met with open arms, and I hope that, for some, I am just too well loved to be forgotten. We spend so many wonderful years and irreplaceable moments with so many fine folks that cross our paths and I hope I bask in the aura of those moments for all of my eternal life and that I can honestly, truly, purely, deeply, and fully smile with approval for a job well done. 

When it's my time...                                                                                             

Pam's late-night thoughts.

Does the buck stop here?

The buck stops...

That blog was originally first published on 3/18/2013(I was just getting going then)

And now here we are all the way to 3/28/2024(I've got it going now) and all we really want to know from jump is...

Does the buck stop here?

I would really, really love to discuss this issue since we still live in a world where no one takes any fault or any responsibility for anything if there is any way they can “pass the buck!” And so, I must ask, that while everyone is pointing a finger at someone else to assign fault to so that someone else can deal with it, then where does the buck stop?! For instance, if you call, with a complaint or an issue or a concern, to some large company you will first get an “associate” on the other end of the line who listens to your entire side of  the story and will still happily tell you that the "buck stops" with the president or with the CEO which would be on the top floor of an office neither one of them even visits. Even if they know your complaint or issue or concern is completely valid, they will still just as soon pass it off onto someone else to deal with. And even if you are given the golden direct line to the president or the CEO of such company well goooood luuuuck getting a hold of one of them. You will become fond friends with their voicemail which will most likely not result in a reply. You can have an issue in a grocery store with a product or pricing or such and you ask to speak with the manager and, after some lengthy little wait, some friendly, smiling, apologetic face appears only to explain how this is one of those situations that the district manager would have to handle as that's where the buck stops. We are smart enough to recognize those push offs, pass alongs, and pass on's while being shifted from one department to the next until you are inevitably disconnected. Wonder where the buck stopped on that one?

I am, and have been, convinced for longer than not that the there is barely a right hand out there that has any clue what the left hand is doing and let me assure you right now that neither hand will take any fault, for any part of anything but will helpfully and happily push you right on over to someone else who will also be able to help you. It's just amazing how quick people are to jump up and down to take any credit for something they had no hand in but, when an issue arises then no one wants to be involved, no one seems to have any answers, and no one really seems to care, to put it frankly. So, my questions remain...where do the shove offs end? When does the finger pointing at someone else end? I think it could all end right here and now if we would just get out some markers and draw some lines and buck up and force the ones who should be held accountable made to do their job. I am, however, holding out some faith for humanity a tad longer for the voice of those who have enough fierceness and enough courage and have just had enough to put their foot down and be a trend setter for announcing and abiding to 

“Yes, the buck stops right here.” 

What a welcome and surprising change that would be. We are all beyond tired of having to naturally ask from jump, just out of curiosity, and for the sake of saving time...

”Does the buck stop here?

Pam

State of Panic...Over 10 years later

 

The link below is to the original 2013 blog for State of Panic...

https://mywonderfulworldofwords.blogspot.com/2013/10/state-of-panic.html

written by Pamela Scholes

10/9/2013

Let us fast forward, however, to the new/same State of Panic...

Please, read on...

State of Panic…Over 10yrs later... 

I sit now with my computer in my lap and thoughts in my head. For a writer, a computer and thoughts in my head is an open door to conversation so why don’t we discuss what has and hasn’t happened over the course of the last 10+ years since I posted the original to this blog in 2013. I'm propped against my bed pillow, and I am thinking of the past week entirely and even this very day's events. Normally I let the day go at the end of the day so that it may lead to more positive promise for tomorrow but, there are those times, when distraught enough, that I can't let it go without putting it to paper. I am wondering what everyone else in the world is doing at this moment and what "breaking news" is next to come. For many folks' half of a new day is over or done while for others a new day is just beginning. Time is strange in how it shifts and moves with location. This era of time we are all engulfed in is strange as well and as I ponder back in time in my thoughts, it has been steadily rolling towards “strange” as if it were the only way to go. What began as a snowball, which was paid little attention too, has now become an avalanche rolling downhill and picking up speed as it goes. They say if we do not change it then most anything and everything will repeat itself and I swear, with all of my searching can I find much change about enough needed things…not much change that ended up as good change anyway. We can try to claim that those failed changes for the better began with good intentions, but did they? Our own IRS, healthcare, and too many various areas of the government have fallen under intense scrutiny… a thing I do not think has ever happened to this extent all at once! And too boot none of the above "higher up folks" seem much interested in the plight of us folks out here just trying to make it. It’s a disheartening thing to see endorsements that speak of unity in word and division in practice, hypocrisy is a vein that runs with cold blood. I keep thinking, hoping, and wishing it to be different but we have been forced into doing so much with so little for so long that we have almost become accustomed to the struggle. We all know that struggle…that “keeping my head just above water” struggle. All of the sudden the signs shout that the new normal is odd…I don’t think treading water to survive should be normal at all and it’s an odd fact that we have begun to see it as normal. 

I am not out to do finger pointing or to assign blame to any ONE person or any ONE branch of the "powers that be," or any ONE group of people for these failures are the result of a slew of way too many years of wrongful decisions. Trust me, it’s more than sad at how us folks have become pawns in a chess game we didn’t ask to play in. So many important decisions are made in haste, and nothing serious is given its due serious deliberation as everyone is in such hurry. Just sign it, stamp it, and let’s move on! Why? Why are we steady rushing ourselves into a world we will never be able to keep up with? Technology has both blessed us and cursed us...it has opened so many new doors and yet it has slammed far too many shut. People are desperate, I do not believe I have ever seen such acts of desperation from everyday working people who can't afford to make any ends meet. And then we have those acts of desperation from those who no longer care at all about anything or anyone for I have never imagined a time when people would shoot one another over who got to the gas pump first. People are standing on the edge, and no one is offering any help, any relief, or any logical intent of a turn around. These are desperate times, tough times and instead of banding together most have gone out on their own to survive however they can. People do not know who to turn to anymore and it seems that no one can be trusted, from the lowest rung of the ladder to the highest rung at the top. Our media has become such a different kind of a “leading source of information” as it will tend to sway towards the “best-selling” information it can present and then it's game on as to how well they can sell it. We get sold that same false bill of goods under the lemon law of "as is" all of the time and this little catch 22 has brought so many to a dead end. Stop judging people, stop downing people, and stop making brass assumptions about someone just by “the cover of the book” for times are hard all over and people are lost with no one to lead them. I can't understand how it cannot be apparently clear to the upper echelon that this world is still in a state of panic...

And so, it stands now in a very similar, too similar, of a situation of this state of panic. Oh yes, folks everywhere are in a panic spin all across the globe. Folks agree on less all of the time and complicate the same simple things even more than they did over 10yrs ago…and I am supposed to call this progress? I must shake my head on that one. I have never seen such chaos taking place each day, all day over the most insane things and there are too many loose ends floating around that I cannot see getting tied together. It seems, sadly, clear that we don’t address prevention in any way and yet stand ready to pony up a bunch of money to try to fix it after the fact! And that is just patchwork…the whole world is a sinkhole just waiting to cave in for all of us. Seems that by now we would get it that patchwork is always a temporary seam. These are serious times folks and when all is said and done, we are what we have. Take a look around you and whether it suits your fancy or not we are what we have. I suppose I could just keep going on, but I think y’all see the picture I’m painting here…what else can a place be called, that has barely inched forward at anything, other than a non-progressive mess?

We are fighting our way out of that same spider web we have been in for over a decade…when does it change, does it change at all, or will we get those same promised pacifications still yet again?! I think it’s a fair question given that this State of Panic has barely budged towards a remedy. How can a whole decade pass us by and the only things we have to show for it are more homeless, fierce desperation, jobless people who want to work and plenty of jobs for those who don’t want to work, EBT is a fight for families to get and that is on the verge of denying one food! Lord how the list adds up but, on these issues folks, the absolute proof is in the pudding! This may not be what we want to hear but if you will be honest with yourselves and acknowledge the standings on where we were and where we are now and that where we are probably going is not looking good then you can’t help but feel let down. I mean it gets under your skin that we have been paused at a stalemate for some time but if you do not at least entertain the down sloped side to things then you are unprepared for it all. So, take this as what you need to hear over what you would rather hear…for we still live in a swirled State of Panic…over 10 years later.

The revised version of our State of Panic... 

written by Pam Scholes

3/24/2024

Patience...

 Patience…

Oh yes, you better believe I audibly laughed out loud when this discussable subject came into my thoughts. Actually, I’m sure it more like flew in turbulence across my mind. To have patience…every day, every time, with everyone, about everything…is just not a logically, conceivable or achievable concept anymore. Now in a perfect world it just might be commonplace but in this section of years, that has been carved out for us, you are going to expect folks who will shoot you over being first at the gas pump to pause and just have patience? Yes, I audibly laughed out loud again. Now let’s think about this, let’s break this down, and let’s examine this thing called patience.

I can hardly think of one thing out there that doesn’t have a line you can cross, a limit you can over draw, a level where it has to stop…there is nothing, there is no one, there is no situation where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH won’t show up! It takes a lot of used up time and literal abuse of kindness before ENOUGH begins to creep up on you. It generally creeps up slowly cause it takes time for it all to build, to bubble, to boil, and to inevitably blow…and when it does blow…it probably ain’t gonna be pretty. Now some folks possess more patience than others, we are all designed different, but I’m not sure that having a grand supply of patience is a gift or a curse! Being able to have patience at all is irrefutably a gift but if left to the abusive devices of others who will make a mile out of every inch you will spare then it could lean more towards a curse. People will test your patience deliberately just to see how much you can take, how long can you bite your tongue, how many times will you offer another pointless chance! First of all: why do that? Why make it your fancy spot of the day to drive a nail thru someone else's patience level? Just because you may not have one positive molecule of patience about you doesn’t mean that your train wreck ride should come to rest at another person's station of patience and calmness. I’m sure there are words out there to name this disruption, but I just don’t exactly know what to label one who does that…other than disconnected and holding nothing but a balloon of a life filled with impatience. You can be sure that that isn’t going to float you very far.

And second of all: this is a short and sweet one. I like to think that kindness can’t be cured but watch your impatient selves for even the kindest of the kind all eventually reach that plateau of ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Patience is almost wishful thinking these days and I wish it were not, but we are not living in some Norman Rockwell painting. But don’t sit impatiently by and take my word for it…go ahead and keep on pushing the buttons of folk's patience, instead of cultivating some patience of your own, and you will find out in no time at all that you have gotten nowhere at all!

So, my “word” on patience is: if you have it then absolutely exercise it but protect it too…you have to be selective on whom you bless with it, to what extent you will use it, and have zero problem throwing up that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH roadblock!

And if you just smack out do not have any, or damn near any, patience at all then people are probably not for you, and you should consider getting yourself a pet…maybe a goldfish; surely, they don’t take up much of one’s patience! And yes, my final note to this was one more audible laugh right out loud!

Cheers to Patience and a four-leaf clover; you just may need some luck!

Pam

Hidden Treasures...

 Oh my goodness...hidden treasures...are they not just the most precious little things when we stumble across them, out of nowhere, on some unsuspecting day? It's those small trinkets, things figured lost and gone or thoughts forgotten about altogether, thanks to the passing of time, that warms our hearts. Often times memories can fade and there are those things that just somehow get misplaced, but when either of them shows up to pay us a visit...well that is absolutely just the berries. I aim to speak only of the "good, pleasant" side of the coin...this blog is to remind us of how sweet those hidden treasures are to us for they are ours to smile about for all of our time.

Hidden treasures can lay sleeping in so many different kinds of meanings all of which bring something special to our treasure chest of life. Perhaps it was "that one day when we went to lunch..." thing or maybe it was that "remember when we...?" thing or it could have been that "what you said to me was so sweet..." thing. It is like a slideshow of all of those "things" that just flows along as "happy thoughts" kind of things that take us down the traveled paths of memory lane. It is often those fits of laughter between you and your bestie or those certain movies or those perfect sunsets...it is those things that reside in the crevices of our hearts, and we bask in them all any time they come back around and sit with us again. Those are the hidden memory treasures...

The hidden treasures may also be that of some special item as a gift from some special person or some souvenir we collected along the way that sits proudly on our dresser or coffee table or hangs perfectly on our living room wall, reminding us of the memory it is fondly attached to. We keep many of those items on display in our home and the picture slot of our purse or carefully packed and stored for safe keeping in a dusty box that rest in the bottom of our bedroom closet but no matter where they are they shine with bright happiness each time we look at them. When the winds of life move us about geographically then it is easy for items to get lost in transit or have boxes stacked atop them and hide them underneath them until time sees fit for us to rummage around and find them again. Any thought, any item, any flower scent, any sound of music...any anything that strikes to life that feeling that warms you all over and inside out is called by no other name than Hidden Treasures...

Pam

 

Stalling for the fear of "no"...

That is a very real and wider spread fear that resides in more folks than we would probably imagine. The harsh fear of being told "no" to something we would like to do or some question we would like to ask or an idea we would like to toss out there…but standing there, like an iron wall, is the paralyzing fear of “what if I am told NO?” Let's address that fear as it will drown out so many things in our everyday life and so many opportunities could be missed. We have to be vigilant when a reply is necessary to that heavy of a question. 

First of all, you just may hear “no” as a response from various directions, for all of your life, more than you will hear “yes.” Not of all the answers are meant to be “yes” and, in fact, not all of the answers are even designed to be “yes.” I think once you can accept that harsh fact then that alone will loosen the grip of the fear of being told “no.” Funny thing about harsh facts is that once you acknowledge the fear of them and face them eye to eye then they shall slowly seem far less harsh than we thought. "No" does not necessarily mean "no not ever" or "no you cannot" or "no that can't be done" and so on and so on it goes when dealing with "no." Let us just use these three examples of "no" and breakdown and examine the possible true meaning as it could be.

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected with "not ever" so look at it from a timing point of view and it may simply mean "no, not right now" as opposed to "not ever." Timing will always be the essence of everything and sometimes...it's just not the right time. There is, however, zero indication that the right time won't come along. All things come along in the moment that they are meant to and thus you must say to yourself "then perhaps tomorrow" and that is far more pleasant to the ear and far more encouraging to the spirit. 

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected to "you cannot" so try to look at it from the view of a team effort so to speak. It may simply mean "no, not by yourself" as opposed to "no, you cannot." It may be that what you wish to accomplish is merely an endeavor that requires more than just you...as in one voice may not be heard as clearly as the voice of several. It may be one of those cases of power in numbers and so you must say to yourself "then I shall seek for aide" and then you can gather your arsenal of voices and conquer that endeavor that you wish to embark on. That frame of thought will, ultimately, get far more things accomplished. 

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected to "that cannot be done" so try to look at it from the view of approach. It may simply mean "no, it cannot be done that way" as opposed to "no, it cannot be done." More often than not our angle of approach determines whether we succeed or not...as in trying the same thing from different sides will, in absolution, show you the best and most effective way to get it done. We succeed because we have failed and we failed by doing things the wrong way first but that does not resonate a "no, it cannot be done." Let it be advice that though "it cannot be done this way" it can surely be done another way. You must see all sides of the box and not just a box.

Now that all of that has been said I implore folks to stop stalling and to never stop trying things for the fear of hearing the word "no" and consider that the answers just simply may not be "yes" the way you thought you might hear it. 

Let "no" drive you, not stall you...

What is your personal poison...

 There is just no attempting to deny this one folks for we all have them...we all have those poisonous little enemies that reside inside of us. Naturally some will vary from person to person, but I have found that so many seem to be across the board in this era we are living in. Enemies do not have to loom large in order to be damaging, especially those internal poisons.

     Do you beat up on yourself when you have fallen short of an endeavor? You should, rather, see it as a lesson learned and you will know how to do better the next time. Why poison yourself for such a thing?

     Do you compare yourself with others? Do you measure yourself by what others can do that you do not think you can do? You should be seeing those as opportunities for growth by sharing...not comparing. Be the unique person you were meant to be for comparing yourself with others will only make you vain and bitter. Why do such a thing?

      Do you fight the good fight every day, win or lose? You always should so long as you are fighting the fights worth fighting for. Do not fret for some things in life are just not worth fighting for or about. Choose your battles wisely or you will poison yourself yet again. Why do such a thing?

       Some of the poisons are small things that loom large and can become overwhelming. Remember that everything has a 50/50 chance at the beginning and that every coin has two sides. You MUST search for the positive side for each time you allow yourself to be against yourself then you are only poisoning you. Why do such a thing? Give things their due attention and thought for nothing can be fixed until ask yourself the question of clarity...What is MY personal poison...?

Pam

That was then...This is now

 That was then, this is now…but later on down the road is when the mix of “then and now” come together. But that simple phrase of distinction of time to what was and to what is, that’s one powerful thing, and then throw in that it gets better after it all comes together and time blends. Could be…as good as anything to pin hopes on. My bestie…wouldn’t know where to begin but we know where it all began and over what flavor of latte to boot but variables, finances, work, those extras we can’t do but we do anyway, and the whole culmination of things that separate what was from what is has stepped up to try to block our path…but what if only a small portion of what was has altered between it and what is…that’s because not all things are designed to change…not all things change simply because time does...I am not of the notion that all things and all people change because time thinks they should…sometimes there is another slice of the pie. This brings me to a personal gap of quicksand and rush to rescue calling my name…

So I guess most folks figure that what was then was destined to change before getting to what now is…valuable things and valuable people do not  have to always change during that period as we move towards the moment when it all meshes together and just keeps going…there is nothing I would change from then or from now with our deep and ever growing friendship…oh yes, we look back at how much fun we had “then” and how we have little time for that “now” but that’s idle chit chat for deep down…way deep down it’s just as grand, if not better, now than it was then…we didn’t change, our bond didn’t change, our focused direction didn’t change…it all evolved instead…so see, not everything or everyone along our path is meant to just change…it isn’t meant to make you yearn for then because now seems so cloudy busy…the universe is unfolding as it should…it always has and it always will and when you stand with that “soulmate friend”…that “you complete me friend” in this time of “this is now” you should have equal or more fond memories as you did when it was “then”…let the eddies of time flow natural and keep tight to that which has traveled with you and has made “what is now” just as precious, priceless, and almost too perfect as it was when it “was then”…for now you know the lines have remained parallel beside each other and that every day is a warm promise that they will continue to do so all the way into “what awaits later” on down the road…consider it riding the colorful waves of a rainbow and splashing into that pot of gold together…all because you didn’t allow “that was then” to dampen or lessen “this is now” and with that being said life will lead you forward for all of the glory moments of “what will be.” 

Pam Scholes

Making the Magic Happen...

There is almost nothing as great and as fulfilling and as rewarding as when you make the magic happen for one who has lost their own magic making skills. To me a day of pure success is when you finally sit down and lean back to relax and your heart is running over because you were able to make the magic happen for one that needed it even more than you knew they did. Some folks are inside their own heads silently fighting for their lives and you show up with your "magic wand" and bag of "sparkling joy" and change the entire trajectory of the direction their day was headed in. You can't always make the magic happen but boy oh boy when you can it is absolutely the berries! Let me introduce this magic making agenda in action...

I have a swell friend name John who lives with Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy and without his electric scooter chair he isn't able to get out and do very much so I will get him out to go to the store or lunch or just cruise a bit but today 2/12/2024 was his "double nickels" birthday and I wanted to make it special for him. His mother, who is 88, fell last week and broke her left hip and is currently in a rehab hospital following surgery and they have not seen each other since the 6TH of this month and she worries about him and he worries about her. I check on him daily several times and have spent a few long days visiting his mom, whom I just absolutely love to pieces, making sure she has what she needs and that all things are going as they should and that she is being well tended to. Today was a special day so I took John to Dynasty Asian Restaurant just 6 miles from the rehab/hospital she is in. I did not say one word about taking him to see her so after a huge lunch meal I drove us to see her. I had to wheelchair him to her room since she is way back in the north 40 and that was a hike I knew he could not make. But the reward that melts the heart began as soon as I wheeled him into her room...it was a Norman Rockwell painting...it was a Hallmark happiness card...it was a pure kodak moment and I was privileged to be the only one who got to see them exchange that "I am so glad to see you" look. We had a great visit, snuck her in some fried rice, and the lunch was fabulous and I could feel John's happiness vibe all around him. At the end of the day after a 40 minute ride home John proclaimed that this was his best birthday ever and smiling like a little boy at Christmas...pure joy radiated from him. When I got him settled in at home, before heading to my own home, he gave me a big hug and said: "thank you so much for making my birthday so special cause I had a great, great day!!" Well, I was toast then! I simply told him: "you are more than welcome, and I couldn't be happier that I was able to make it special for you." John spends much time tired, in pain, and just restless so to see him having a big lunch and smiling and joking around was such a treat...and the cherry on top was managing to get him to see her without him realizing it until we had arrived. He needed to see her for himself and know that she is a trooper full of spirit and that she is doing wonderful...he needed to know that, and he just wanted to talk to his mom for a little bit. I love them both very much and somehow it all worked out right on point. So, I sit here now, propped up in bed with my computer in my lap, smiling to myself as I remanence over the day's events and the joy I saw all around them and the fun of his birthday dine in, and my heart is more than satisfied that, for today, I was able to "Make the magic happen..." 

Pam Scholes

The anchors of life...

Ahhhh yes the anchors of life...and that is one simple but very important thing to understand the differences between. See, there are those anchors that are the very things that will do nothing more than drag you down, try to keep you from even treading water any longer, and they will dead stop any movement forward for you...and slowly start to drown you. Some anchors we carry for years without even realizing what is drowning us...clinging us to the same spot every single day! Some anchors we tote around for years hoping to set the issue right, to help that person and/or that thing that is keeping US from being able to move with the flow of OUR life and so those are, appropriately called: 

1) "the anchors that bind you." Now, there is really only one option open to this and that is you must cut the ropes...you must cut loose forever any anchor that is binding you down for that is detrimental to your own growth and severely unfair action from those who are being a binding anchor. You cannot waste any time with being bound down by many things you cannot change anyway...or by people you cannot change either. I am telling you now to get out your scissors, your saw, whatever you have and cut it all loose...if it is keeping you stagnant then let it go, cut it loose and let your ship sail on forward as it should. Do that for yourself...you owe it to yourself...you will later be glad you did it for yourself. It will be tough to cut some anchors due to personal investment but when you are no longer getting any return on that investment then it is time to redirect your energy to more promising avenues. Take a deep breath and cut, cut, cut those ropes...they have probably handed you the scissors themself anyway so cut it quickly and quietly sail on.

Now the other anchors are also appropriately called: 

2) "those that keep us grounded"...those that hold us steady during the worst of the storms of our lives...the waters can be heavy and turbulent and the beams from the lighthouses can be dim or not even visible at all, and in this case we have good anchors...the anchors of life and when you discover and, very luckily and very rarely, find those anchors that pitch in to help make sure that you remain anchored down tightly, until the storm passes and the lighthouse is now visible again to shine light upon your travels, then you must hold tight to those anchors and stick together as the spokes of a wheel stick together. Accept only the anchors that help keep you remain steady during the storms and then pick up and sail on with you...and stand ready at all times to drop anchor again when the next, inevitable, storm hits. Now there will be less of these anchors than those that bind you but the anchors of your life, that turn your tidal waves into rolling ripples that are manageable, now those are the anchors you must keep aboard your ship...it is an investment with such wonderful returns. So, be sure to understand the differences between those anchors out there for only those interested in hunkering down thru the storms so they may move on in the calm that follows are those you graciously keep...the others, the binding anchors...as I said: cut, cut, cut those ropes. They shall sit at the bottom of the ocean floor along with all of the other cut loose anchors while you and your new found anchors of life sail on...

The Trifecta of life…

 

Closing doors, burning bridges, severing longtime ties...they can be a trifecta of tough decisions to have to be on full terms with before you can even begin to properly execute doing any of those things. Let's break it down and please understand that these are solely my feelings and thoughts and boundaries on this trifecta...

1)closing doors sounds easy enough...close the door and don't turn around and now it's "outta sight, outta mind.' But that just isn't so...not at all is it so. You have to know with every fiber of your being that you have done even more than you could have done and more than you should have done has nonetheless been tried before you can, in good faith, let it go...close the door on it like the chapter of a book and don't look back and do not even hear the knocking from the other side...you have to know that when you close a door shut that you must lock it and never open it again. And you must know that you can do that for there will forever be doors we have to muster up and close off and you cannot close those doors properly if your conscience is going to rear up and cause you to question the slamming of that door. You make a command decision, you go with, and that's that...but you make sure that no desire to crack that door has ANY chance to creep up on you for those are revolving doors and they will never stay closed. 

2) Burning bridges along the way...this one is even more firm than closing doors for once you burn a bridge behind you then that is a very solid, forever move. See, once the bridge is burned you can never cross it again...even if you wanted to or even if you needed to. This move of freeing excess baggage of those grey patchy times of our lives takes a silent but certain and confident courage to be able to finally disconnect with anything that hinders you in any way. It's tough to buckle up and be tough sometimes but there is not one single thing lacking in us to make us keep our seat instead of striking the match and watching every board burn into a smoldering heap of ash. Closure reach's no higher level than when one can finally detach themself as numb to the issue and feeling zero regret for what they are about to do nor what they ultimately do. Burning a bridge generally means that what was on the other side of it is dead to you...you have no emotion left to spare. Good thing is, however, that once burned neither can what rest on the other side of the rubble get across it to torment you ever again. It is done, it is over, it has been buried, the bridge can never again be crossed from either side...let it go and forget about it. That's right, forget about it! That was the primary reason for burning the bridge to begin with...to push it away and consider it handled as seen fit and to simply move on and forget about it. So when your own burning season rolls around then think about that bridge long and hard and what it would say if only it could speak before you poor the gas to it and strike a match...be sure you can turn your back to the flames and walk away to a whole new mindset.

3) Ah, and here enters a tough one indeed...severing longtime ties. Wow, now this takes a gamble...you know what you have in someone but yet what you do not have in them seems to outweigh the other then it could be time to freeze frame your very heart and cut the line. It is one tough call to have to make but if it is what is best for you or if it is what is best for both parties then cut the cord. Don't even take a deep breath or do the damn "one, two, three, go!' thing just snip it loose. Life is not designed for us to hang onto everything or everyone forever...those who do stay are but of the "privileged" few. And most times when you reach the point of cutting someone loose, they have handed you the scissors!

So, therein places my two cents and that penny for my thoughts. For some, life will build you so that you will be able to defeat that trifecta while others just seem to have come with an instinct so when your gut of guts tells you to just pause and reflect then do not hesitate for a moment to live by your values, by your morals, by your standards and within your boundaries. You get one ride on this tempest, this merry-go-round that we all twirl about on so keep yourself centered and grounded at all costs. Be prepared to face at least one of the three major parts of life's trifecta traps...but do indeed be prepared

Pam Scholes

Begin Paving Your Own Yellow Brick Road

 

Your own yellow brick road? Did you shake your head or snicker "yea right?!" to yourself? It's perfectly fine if you did; very understandable since we seem to have so little control over so many things these days...much less a yellow brick road. But you absolutely can build it! The berries about it all are that you may build it in any straight and narrow form that you wish...or you may build it in any curve and twist shape that you wish...and you may build it at any pace (almost any pace) that you wish. In fact, it's not so much how much time one takes in building their road...it's far more important in how much was accomplished during their time building their road. Quality over quantity; and may quality always win. 

 You are the brick layer that gently places each brick in its chosen spot...you are the cement that binds each of those bricks together...you are the blueprint designer of every shape and size of each of those bricks...and you are the orchestrator that shall decide to which musical tune of direction those bricks shall march towards...

 The bricks that pave your own inner yellow brick road are very special bricks for each one is made up of a pinch, a snippet, a dab, a quirk of you...they are made so that each one holds some personal and unique touch that is the very essence of you! And with all of those "titles and duties" bestowed upon you I, hereby and from this moment forward, knight you full and sole guardianship over the magical path you carve from your many bricks of gold. 

 Timing and placement will mean everything since this brick road is an everyday, ongoing, work in progress kind of endeavor. Oh, fret not for those cracks and patchy areas along the way are all compliments of life and those unforeseeable variables that will rear their heads to hinder the flow of the road we have begun. Allow no pebble to take roost in the spot of where the next brick should be placed. 

Building your yellow brick road, making no claim for it to be an easy job, but oh my, the rewards you shall reap will shine for you when all is said and done. And so, as 2024 has now gotten comfortable it is now time to pave...time to reinvent yourself, and/or, your route of travel. Just because things change does not mean one must change with them...one must simply accept those changes exist and modify them into the parts of their life that truly count, that truly matter. You have a god (however you conceive that to be) given right to "free will" which opens many doors for the foundation of the production of your very own yellow brick road...it has been inside of you all along.