Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Stalling for the fear of "no"...

That is a very real and wider spread fear that resides in more folks than we would probably imagine. The harsh fear of being told "no" to something we would like to do or some question we would like to ask or an idea we would like to toss out there…but standing there, like an iron wall, is the paralyzing fear of “what if I am told NO?” Let's address that fear as it will drown out so many things in our everyday life and so many opportunities could be missed. We have to be vigilant when a reply is necessary to that heavy of a question. 

First of all, you just may hear “no” as a response from various directions, for all of your life, more than you will hear “yes.” Not of all the answers are meant to be “yes” and, in fact, not all of the answers are even designed to be “yes.” I think once you can accept that harsh fact then that alone will loosen the grip of the fear of being told “no.” Funny thing about harsh facts is that once you acknowledge the fear of them and face them eye to eye then they shall slowly seem far less harsh than we thought. "No" does not necessarily mean "no not ever" or "no you cannot" or "no that can't be done" and so on and so on it goes when dealing with "no." Let us just use these three examples of "no" and breakdown and examine the possible true meaning as it could be.

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected with "not ever" so look at it from a timing point of view and it may simply mean "no, not right now" as opposed to "not ever." Timing will always be the essence of everything and sometimes...it's just not the right time. There is, however, zero indication that the right time won't come along. All things come along in the moment that they are meant to and thus you must say to yourself "then perhaps tomorrow" and that is far more pleasant to the ear and far more encouraging to the spirit. 

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected to "you cannot" so try to look at it from the view of a team effort so to speak. It may simply mean "no, not by yourself" as opposed to "no, you cannot." It may be that what you wish to accomplish is merely an endeavor that requires more than just you...as in one voice may not be heard as clearly as the voice of several. It may be one of those cases of power in numbers and so you must say to yourself "then I shall seek for aide" and then you can gather your arsenal of voices and conquer that endeavor that you wish to embark on. That frame of thought will, ultimately, get far more things accomplished. 

When the word you hear is "no" it does not mean it is connected to "that cannot be done" so try to look at it from the view of approach. It may simply mean "no, it cannot be done that way" as opposed to "no, it cannot be done." More often than not our angle of approach determines whether we succeed or not...as in trying the same thing from different sides will, in absolution, show you the best and most effective way to get it done. We succeed because we have failed and we failed by doing things the wrong way first but that does not resonate a "no, it cannot be done." Let it be advice that though "it cannot be done this way" it can surely be done another way. You must see all sides of the box and not just a box.

Now that all of that has been said I implore folks to stop stalling and to never stop trying things for the fear of hearing the word "no" and consider that the answers just simply may not be "yes" the way you thought you might hear it. 

Let "no" drive you, not stall you...


  1. Pam, thank you for your wonderful insight of the word "NO". Excellent perception my friend!

    1. My friend you know I am always out to share the positive side of most anything and i thank you for words!